Tuesday the 12th of April 2011.

I had a mental dream this morning about those reptilian things again. Reptilians are those alien reptiles who are posing in the human skin of all the world leaders…..OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. In my dream, everyone in the world believed the conspiracy apart from me. I was in a huge building and some man was trying to recruit me. He said that the reptilians had organised Wayne Rooney’s 2 match ban he’s currently serving for swearing. He said that for just $500 I could buy a load of books which proved the existence of reptilians. I told him that I don’t believe in reptilians, thanked him for his time and left the room.
As I left the room, I looked out of the window to see a massive statue of Michael Jackson coming to life out of a sewer. It was going mad and smashing buildings, apparently it had done this before. I managed to escape the building and can’t remember much else about the dream.

I really haven’t done a lot today. Sat here applying for some jobs for a couple of hours. I don’t really know how I can write about this and make it interesting, so here’s a snippet of my CV making me sound more important than I am,

In charge of the company’s marketing strategy, some of my tasks included- constructing newsletters, SEO techniques, promotion of software the company had developed and market research. I also helped create and manage a database of previous clients.

I watched an episode of Mad Men. I’m a bit disappointed because I’m half way through Season 4, and have watched 4 series in the last few months, thinking that the 5th would be starting this summer. However, the 5th one isn’t due to start until next year so I feel like I’ve rushed it for no reason really. I’m enjoying Mad Men, but I did expect more from it to be honest. It’s brilliantly acted and everything but I’m quite surprised it’s picked up so many awards. It needs something massive to happen soon in order to get into my Top 10 TV shows of all time list. It’s quite annoying as to how predictable it will be who Don Draper will shag. For example, at the beginning of an episode I watched it said “Previously on Mad Men” then showed you him chatting to some woman from a few episodes ago, who in that conversation declared she was single. OOOH WONDER WHAT YOU’RE GONNA DO WITH HER DONALD?

For my tea I had a lovely bit of minted lamb (again, impeccably cooked Dad) with peas, mushrooms and wedges. I’d go as far as to say it was a 10/10 meal as I left a clean plate, even though some pea juice went on my wedges. Usually when some pea juice goes on other items of food, I won’t eat that item because I’m a fussy twat like that.

I watched Manchester United play Chelsea in the 2nd leg of the Champions League Quarter Final next. United were 1-0 up from the first leg and it was a very tense affair. United won 2-1 in the end so I was happy. Ryan Giggs is an actual freak of nature. He’s still probably our best player at the age of 37, it’s ridiculous.
Ant text me telling me I should have a sports section on the blog so I can write about shit like this, and I would tend to agree with him. I will create one over the next week when I think of some angry footballing injustice I can moan about.

That’s about all I’ve done today you bunch of cunts. I’ve started using the word cunt a lot more lately. I know it’s frowned upon but I’ve sort of lost all decency about myself since becoming unemployed again. It’s like the world VS me, so if I want to I can just do this and there’s nothing you can do about it- cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

Goodnight, god bless, love you.